so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
