she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize