I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
