Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
