At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
