This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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