just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
