Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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