My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
