I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I faked an abortion last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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