What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
