I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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