After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
