I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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