just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently the secret to your success is patron
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
