Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize