i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
