I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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