I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
