At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
