Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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