he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
