i don't like sucking hair
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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