do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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