You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
