Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
