He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
