I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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