So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
