Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
