there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My ass is underappreciated
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
