he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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