I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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