the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
