can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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