I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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