I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
