You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize