how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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