i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
