I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
