just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
