What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we have pet lesbian snakes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
