sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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