We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
and you fell through a lawn chair
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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