plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
