i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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