If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
