Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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