R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
this just has baby written all over it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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