Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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