Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
