i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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