She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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