Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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