dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
