How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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