he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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