i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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