Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
