the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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