Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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