Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
