Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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