Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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