your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
