If i come over, it means nothing
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
