you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
