he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
