i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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