Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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