so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
