Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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