Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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