exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
