But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
